Narcissistic Abuse Therapy in London & Online
Reclaim your reality. Rebuild self‑trust. Remember who you are.
When someone repeatedly denies what happened, twists your words or makes you responsible for their behaviour, you can begin to lose contact with your own inner compass. You may know that something feels wrong, yet find yourself questioning your memory, minimising the harm or wondering whether you are the problem.
Therapy offers a place where you do not have to keep proving your experience or arguing for your reality. Together, we can make sense of what happened, understand how it has affected you and begin rebuilding a steadier relationship with your feelings, needs and truth.
Book a free 15‑minute consultation
A brief, no‑pressure conversation to explore whether working together feels suitabl
You might recognise yourself here
You may:
Replay conversations, searching for what you did wrong.
Over‑explain, justify yourself or rehearse what you want to say.
Feel confused or depleted after interactions, even when nothing obvious happened.
Walk on eggshells or constantly monitor another person’s mood.
Take responsibility for other people’s feelings, reactions or behaviour.
Struggle to trust your instincts, including in safer relationships.
Feel guilty, ashamed or emotionally entangled after leaving.
You do not need to have the right language for what’s happened. We can begin with how it felt and what it has left you carrying.
You do not need to diagnose anyone
“Narcissistic abuse” is not a formal diagnosis. It is a phrase people often use to describe patterns of manipulation, gaslighting, emotional invalidation, control and relational harm.
Therapy is not about diagnosing the person who hurt you. The focus is the impact on you:
What happened?
What did you learn to silence or surrender?
How has the relationship shaped your sense of safety, worth and reality?
What do you need now?
Why it can be so hard to leave
From the outside, leaving may appear straightforward. From inside the relationship, it often is not.
Cycles of closeness, harm, apology, hope and disappointment can create a powerful emotional attachment. You remember the loving moments and keep waiting and wanting them to return.
There may also be the practical and cultural realities:
Financial dependence or shared housing.
Children or co‑parenting responsibilities.
Workplace or professional power.
Family loyalty, religious expectations or cultural expectations and duty.
Fear of rejection, retaliation or community judgement.
What kept you there may not have been weakness. It may have been an intelligent adaptation in an environment where safety, belonging or survival depended on reading another person carefully. After leaving, you may still miss them, doubt yourself or feel responsible for their wellbeing. None of this means the harm was not real.
Healing is not becoming someone new
At Remember Who We Are Therapy, healing is understood as returning to the parts of yourself that had to be silenced, abandoned or reshaped in order to survive.
Healing begins when we stop fighting the reality of what happened – not because it was acceptable, but because acknowledging the truth allows energy that has been tied up in confusion, denial and self‑blame to begin moving again.
This process may involve:
Acknowledgement – naming what happened and allowing your emotional reality to exist without immediately questioning or minimising it.
Clearing – separating your own voice from the criticism, blame, fear and obligation you have absorbed.
Integration – making room for grief, anger, tenderness, shame, relief and love without forcing these feelings into a simple story.
Self‑knowledge – becoming more aware of your needs, boundaries, values and bodily responses.
Conscious choice – moving from automatic survival responses towards relationships and decisions grounded in dignity, reciprocity and self‑respect.
Through this work, you do not become someone else. You begin to remember who you are.
How therapy can support you
Reclaiming your reality
Gaslighting and chronic invalidation can make certainty feel dangerous. In therapy, we can strengthen your capacity to hold your own experience:
This is what happened.
This is how it affected me.
This is what I know.
The aim is not to build a case or convince anyone else. It is to restore your relationship with your own perception.
Understanding the parts of you that adapted
You may recognise different protective roles within yourself – the appeaser, the watcher, the fixer, the over‑explainer, the one who asks for very little, the one who stays calm while everything inside is collapsing.
These parts developed for a reason. We do not shame or remove them. Instead, we become curious about what they were protecting you from, what they learnt about love and safety, and whether they still need to work so hard.
Reconnecting with your body’s signals
Manipulative or emotionally abusive relationships can disrupt your ability to sense and trust your own yes and no. You may experience tightness, numbness, anxiety, exhaustion, shutdown or a sense of leaving your body during difficult interactions.
Our work can include gently noticing these responses and understanding what they may be communicating. The aim is not to force you to feel more, but to help your body become a source of information again rather than somewhere you must override or escape.
Exploring culture, loyalty and belonging
Relational harm does not occur outside culture, family or community. You may have been taught that loyalty means silence, that boundaries are selfish or that protecting the family is more important than protecting yourself.
Race, gender, faith, migration, disability, class and cultural expectations may all shape what you were expected to carry and what felt possible to name. We can explore these realities without reducing you to your identity or assuming that culture is the only explanation.
The question is not simply, “Why didn’t you leave?” It may be:
What did leaving threaten?
What did staying protect?
What might belonging look like without self‑abandonment?
How I work
I am an integrative, transcultural and transpersonal psychotherapist and a UKCP Full Clinical Member.
My approach is relational, trauma‑informed and body‑aware. I draw on psychodynamic, humanistic, Gestalt and transpersonal psychotherapy. Sessions are primarily conversational. Together, we may explore present relationships, earlier experiences, protective patterns, bodily responses and the meanings you have made from what happened.
Where it feels appropriate and with your consent, we may also use imagery, metaphor, dreams, creative reflection or present‑moment awareness. Nothing is forced.
I will not diagnose the person in your life or tell you whether you must stay or leave. My role is to help you understand your experience, strengthen your agency and make choices that feel grounded in your reality. We work at a pace your nervous system can trust.
Sessions and fees
Psychotherapy sessions are £90 for 50 minutes and usually take place weekly at a regular agreed time, providing the continuity needed for deeper relational work.
I offer:
Online psychotherapy across the UK.
In‑person psychotherapy in Paddington, London W2.
Appointments Tuesday to Friday, between 10am and 7pm.
I am not currently offering reduced‑fee or concessionary places.
Beginning therapy
You do not need to arrive with certainty. You may still feel confused. You may still love or miss the person who hurt you. You may be questioning whether what happened was “bad enough”.
We can begin there.
A free 15‑minute introductory consultation allows us to briefly discuss what is bringing you to therapy, what you are looking for and whether my approach and availability feel suitable for ongoing weekly psychotherapy at £90 per session.